You're my little dorito
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
