The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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