So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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