her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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