i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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