I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
