So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize