oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
