At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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