I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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