so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
