I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
