the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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