Do vagina's smell?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
