I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
