1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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