I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
tell me about the fingering
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