there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My balls are so social today.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
