was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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