Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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