We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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