I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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