nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
