oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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