So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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