im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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