sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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