Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
