She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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