I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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