everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize