If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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