i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
