just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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