let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
