I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
