I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
