Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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