shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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