Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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