I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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