eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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