and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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