is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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