Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just googled if crying burns calories
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
