At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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