like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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