dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
