How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
porn star boner night. come get it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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