Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm both gender and math confused
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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