Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
