4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
