So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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