I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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