Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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