she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
