Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You left your phone here
Wait...
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