a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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