So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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