After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
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i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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