forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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