We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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